dude i'm inner monologue high
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize