I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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