That's when you crack a 10am beer
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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