You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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