Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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