I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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