I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
