let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I have tasted many bathrooms
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
