I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize