So drunk its hurt
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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