WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
