I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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