I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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