i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
