My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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