Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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