Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
