He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
