whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
