Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Buhtt sex?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize