Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
