Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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