Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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