I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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