sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
