so explain again why im purple
no
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
