Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hippo gnu deer
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
