Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
