She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
