last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
