Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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