Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
