so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
