The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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