Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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