i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize