New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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