you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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