That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
