How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Randomize
