Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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