so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
