I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
