possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
