do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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