Your face is a jimmy john
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
