A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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