Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Pants are for mortals
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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