I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
