Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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