The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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