"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
