I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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