Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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