ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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