Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
