So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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