Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
babies were throwing up all over the place
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
