Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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