You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
