How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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