I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
