Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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