You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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