Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
