There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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