im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it was like eating out sand paper
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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