so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
